


Texts From the DC Omegaverse

by Melanthios



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Green Arrow - All Media Types, The Incredibles (2004), The Venture Bros
Genre: Gossipfic, M/M, Omegaverse, Texting, Texts From Last Night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 10:20:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7840984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melanthios/pseuds/Melanthios
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some friends text each other about their sexcapades.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It is okay to leave me reviews, it's not rude or creepy to tell me you enjoyed the story. I especially like long reviews, but _any_ review is better than silence. I'm putting this note here because apparently it's now a common idea that leaving a review, especially a long one, is somehow creepy. I'm here to tell you that, for an old-timer like me, _a review is always more preferable to 'likes'._ There's a human connection to even the simplest 'I liked this!'.
> 
> * * *
> 
> 707 - Star(ling) City. Northwest California Coast.  
> 831 - Gotham. irl this is the Northern Central Coast area, which includes Monterey Bay and Santa Cruz.  
> 562 - Long Beach  
> 714 - Anaheim. This is (d)Ash.  
> 818 - Burbank. Edna Mode has this area code.

(707): Just fucked Oliver Queen. He literally just ate me out all night I didn’t have to do anything! Ruined for all other alphas forever.

-

(707): omg I just got asked into a threesome with Bruce Wayne and a model that is so gay I think he might actually be a fire hazard.

(831): SAY YES WHY ARE YOU TEXTING ME

(707): By ‘just’ I mean ‘just finished and am currently getting driven home by a hot butler’.

-

(562): You know that witch movie you made me watch.

(562): I think I found black Phillip’s other form.

(562): It is Oliver Queen.

(562): I think he recited an entire Shakespeare sonnet while fingering me.

(562): When I woke up his hot roommate was telling me there was a guest room and also 3am pancakes.

(562): Update: they are chocolate chip pancakes. With chocolate syrup. I like this roommate.

(562): His roommate is named Roy. We banged on the kitchen sofa.

(562): There’s a SOFA in this man’s KITCHEN.

-

(831): I just met Bruce Wayne in a fucking train station. We talked about you.

(707): fuck

(831): I have your panties. They’re clean.

(707): AND a gentleman.

(831): They smell AMAZING. I can’t stop putting them against my face. People are staring.

(831): He says Ash says hi. wtf is Ash.

(707): The gay model.

(831): I just googled ‘gay model ash’ YOU FUCKED THIS???

(707): I thought my dick was gonna break off that man plays to WIN.

(707): Also ngl thought he was gonna steal those panties bc he said they were cute.

-

(707): Thanks for not stealing my panties.

(714): Who is this?

(707): Last night’s threesome.

(714): Oh hiiiiii! Where did you get them tho? I want some and they look handmade.

(707): I made them.

(714): Honey I know Edna Mode do you need an internship

-

(714): I just hired that random I fucked on Friday hope that’s ok.

(818): …Darling, we’ve talked about this. No recruiting interns with your ass.

(714): He MADE those panties I texted you a photo of!

(714): MADE them‼

(714): WITH HIS BEAUTIFUL HANDS!‼

(714): I’m sending you photos from his etsy shop right now.

(818): …I will admit to his craftsmanship. This is all handwork.

(714): ikr! I fucked him really hard for that.

(818): Good boy.

-

(831): I just sucked Dickie Grayson in the dressing room at Hot Topic

(707): Dickie Grayson shops at Hot Topic like a peasant???

(831): Idk man I guess he likes overpriced SPN merch like the rest of us?

(707): I wonder if his cock is as big as Daddy’s

(831): They’re not even RELATED

(831): It’s a nice cock tho

(831): Smallest alpha cock I’ve ever seen but then again he’s barely five feet tall.

(707): omg perfect for sucking then

(831): Hella

(831): We got kicked out

(831): HE TRIED TO PROPOSITION THE STORE CLERK THAT WAS KICKING US OUT *AS WE WERE BEING KICKED OUT*

(707): I THOUGHT THE SLUT THING WAS A RUMOR

(831): THE STORE CLERK GAVE HIM THEIR NUMBER


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 760 is Metroville, irl it's Palm Springs and most of the Mojave.
> 
> Also shit gets weird from here on out just a warning. I will cross over any goddamned superhero universe I want. And Jack-Jack is under 21 but over 18 don't freak out.

(707): My threesome just got me an internship offer

(831): I’d say I’m surprised but… I live in Gotham

-

(707): My threesome just got me an internship offer

(562): Which threesome?

(707): Bruce Wayne and this model named Ash.

(562): ASH MODE???

(562): YOU FUCKED ASH MODE?????

(562): betas have all the luck

(707): back the fuck up you told me on Wednesday that you fucked Oliver Queen and his hot roommate.

(562): 1) I never saw Queen’s delicious alpha cockness and b) Roy is a beta.

(707): ok point. but this is why you should come to parties with me.

(562): I WAS WORKING.

(707): THREESOME. WITH. THE BIGGEST ALPHA DICK YOU’VE EVER SEEN. I CAN’T EVEN FIT THIS MAN INTO MY *HANDS*

(562): You are a fucking *menace* you know that?

(707): so anyway I start interning on Monday.

-

(714): I will not be treating you special because we fucked just fyi.

(760): Ash wrong number.

(714): Oh god. Jack-Jack that was NOT meant for you.

(760): Well obviously. Recruiting interns again?

(714): Maybe.

(714): How are you?

(760): Oh I’m hostage in a bank right now. Cold is here. It’s pretty great, he’s a natural. And hot.

(760): (incoming picture bankheistselfie.jpg)

(760): I’d post to instagram but then Flash would be here too fast and I’m having fun.

(714): Does he have a sexy voice?

(760): DOES HE

(760): I NEED THIS MAN TO FUCK ME IMMEDIATELY IT IS SO HARD TO COOPERATE RIGHT NOW

-

(562): I’m stuck in a bank being held up by Team Cold so that’s how my day is going.

(831): I’ll wait up it’s ok we can see a later showing.

(562): There’s a hot kid next to me texting his brother. We’re sitting against the same column.

(562): He just took a photo.

(831): I thought supervillain selfies only happened in Gotham.

(562): COLD IS COMING OVER HERE NOW. FUCK. HE NOTICED. DAMMIT IF I GET KILLED.

(831): It’s fine Cold doesn’t kill people.

(831): What’s Cold doing????

(831): ????

(831): I’m dying now you can’t just tell me he’s coming over and not text me back!

-

(707): Are you ok???? I heard you were in a bank with supervillains???

(707): We’re really worried!

(707): Seriously are you ok????

(562): ORGY WITH TEAM COLD AND THIS HOT KID NEXT TO ME. KISS MY ASS I JUST FUCKED TWO SUPERVILLAINS.

(707): You FUCKER. We were really worried over here‼

(562): I WAS A LITTLE BUSY

(562): what was I supposed to do, take a selfie??? EVERYTHING HAPPENED KIND OF FAST OK.

-

(707): He fucked Team Cold that’s why he went quiet. Did he text you?

(831): OMG GOOD FOR HIM. WOW.

-

(831): CONGRATS ON FUCKING TEAM COLD.

(562): And that hot kid. It was all his doing. I’d buy him a drink but apparently he’s underage and cares about that kind of thing. So I bought him In-n-Out.

(831): How responsible of you.

(562): The dude got me laid by two butch supervillains with sexy voices, it was the least I could do.

(562): Pretty sure Cold’s dick is bigger than Bruce Wayne’s just saying. I have no idea how he tucks that in his jeans. Damn.

(831): Maybe we need to get them in the same room together.

(562): Also Heatwave is surprisingly gentle for a dude that sounds like Tom Waits’ older brother.

(831): Great. Now he’s on my fuck list.

(562): 10/10 highly recommended. They only fuck people together, it’s some kind of hot supervillain sex pact.

(831): Did you fuck the twink that got you into this?

(562): No but he ate me out while being fucked by Cold.

(562): I’m moving to Central asap if this kind of thing happens all the time.

(831): Trust me it does. Supers are horny, kinky bastards.

(562): Sorry about the fact that Gotham's supervillains suck.

(831): Idk man we just got the Monarchs and their chief hench is a total bear so.

(831): You know.

(831): I'm doomed.


End file.
